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The Leeds side streets that you slip down


Thursday, October 30, 2003

All hallows eve

Tonight was a training run for friday. A very bad training run, but a training run. I let steve wear my clockwork orange outfit, which seemed to go down quite well. In revenge for his success i am going to stay up and eat all of his sausages. He owes it to me!
posted by Robert  # 3:41 am

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Still awake

Just typed a fucking massive entry and then the computer cut out. I've saved it but i don't know where it is. This has really pissed me off!
posted by Robert  # 4:08 am

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Hell yeah!
Motherfucker i'm king of the internet! Mummy, look what i just did!
posted by Robert  # 9:27 pm
posted by Robert  # 9:26 pm
Webmasterbet this won't work

posted by Robert  # 3:00 pm

I can't get no sleep.

I seem to be suffering from insomnia. Recently i haven't been able to sleep until about 3-5 o'clock in the morning. It's driving me mad, since it means that i always sleep in late and am tired during the day, which hinders any attempt on my part to do any work. If i do try to do any work during the day i fall asleep, and then i don't get tired at nights, and so the circle begins again. I've got to be up at eight am tomorrow, i hope i can make it.

I'm trying to do something productive tonight but my brain just doesn't seem to be working properly. I have to read this sonnet sequence and then do a presentation on it for thursday, so I'm trying to get started on that. Trouble is the poem seems to be the hardest text i've ever read. To make matters worse the presentation has to be done in pairs, and i've been paired up with an austrian exchange student who doesn't seem to be able to speak English very well. At its worst it's a case of the stupid leading the blind.
I've just realised that i'll also be hungover whilst giving the presentation too, as i'm going to a halloween party the night before, an intend to get quite drunk. Wayhey.

Steve's parents are coming round tomorrow. Apparently his mum is pissed off with me cos i have inadvertently scarred him quite badly (it was an accident!), so i'm going to disappear off to my brother's tomorrow night.

I had a bet with steve over a game of pool today. He bet his sister against my seventy pence. Unfortunately he won.

I've got to find a hobby. I'm going insane just doing work and sitting infront of the tv at home. I don't feel like i'm achieving anything. I'd feel better if i didn't go to uni for a week and tried to finally get down all the music i've been meaning to write, or something. This university is like a production line at times. Well, a production line that expects me to work nine hours a week, drink most days, sleep around and get a high paid job.
Why the fuck am i complaining? At least i'm not selling gas or driving a forklift all day like i did in the summer. I suppose i'm just the kind of person that needs motivation more than anything. Reminds me of that scene in fight club- i need a tyler to stick a gun to my head and tell me to work.

Sometimes do you ever feel like you made the wrong choice in life? Ever feel like you may have been naturally inclined to go in one direction, but instead you misread the signs and went another? Isn't it possible that you could be a great natural curler, or baseball player, or xylophone player, yet the fact that you never tried any of these things meant that you never realised this talent?

Studying English gets me down. It was worse last year, when we were doing Romantic poetry. Waking up hungover and having to wander into a seminar to discuss Dejection: An ode was not much fun. This year I'm studying Virginia Woolf. God i'm dreading that. At least i get to do some Orwell and Waugh who, if a bit pessimistic, are at least amusing. I'm looking forward to doing DH Lawrence as well, but he's next term. I get to sit in a seminar and say "the phallus is the bridge to the future" in a legitamate context for once. In fact, i have a seminar on lady chatterly tomorrow, so i'll try to fit that phallus quote in somewhere. Hopefully not during registration.

I'm tempted to volunteer for the uni nighttime listening service. I figure that if i'm up all night typing at a computer i might as well be up all night talking to someone human, even if that person is suicidal.

I am wide awake now. I might as well watch the wicker man, its on tv now.


posted by Robert  # 2:36 am

Sunday, October 26, 2003

The web

The internet is so full of crap! I've just been surfing a few of these blogs and God they aren't interesting. Half of the seem to be written in this slang i don't understand whilst the other half contain bloody awful poetry by some miserable bastard.

Its all stuff like:

The cry of life

I sit in my fake room
Square and dark a
single tear trickles
to the floor
Daddy why did you do this?
Squoze my heart like a melon
My eternal sleep

It all bollocks! I just did one of those what kind of.. quizzes. Turns out that if i was an angel i would be a dark angel. Well thank you for that revelation. A dark angel. Now i don't need to go to that psychiatrist. Now what the fuck is a dark angel?

Its as bad as that career form i filled in at at school. This is how that went:

Q Do you like the outdoors?
A Yes
Response: Have you considered being a farmer?

It said i should be a un peace keeper. Ha ha ha.

I'm gonna go steal a beer off someone.
posted by Robert  # 1:28 am
I'm bored

I'm bored! Its a saturday night i should be out! Its annoying, i've sacrificed two very good night outs for one very mediocre one. I could be at a cure night, or at an indie/60's night. Instead I'm at a computer vaguely meandering round the internet until i get sleepy. Since steve has gone i've lost my usual drinking partner, and everyone else in the house is in a couple, so they're happy to stay in.

Today was a typical post-club day, meaning that i've done very little. I've visited my brother, read a bit of DH Lawrence and watched the Omen.

We are getting a new flatmate moving in tomorrow, which should radically alter how the flat's like. I'm looking forward to it, it should be good to get some new blood in the house. I just hope he isn't a nutcase, or a control freak. He seems alright to me, and he has a sense of humour.

I'm begining to wonder why i want to go out so much. Generally its because i like the music, but that isn't really the whole story. I think i'm just desperate to have a good time, and clubs are where people go to have fun, after all. Most of my days seem so mediocre and boring i'm desperate to let go at nights. The trouble is that i generally don't have that much fun. The majority of the clubs play music too loud and get me too drunk for me to be able to have a decent conversation, so i end up dancing badly for three hours and then stumbling home, kebab in hand.
I think my subconscious is just telling me to go out and find myself a girlfriend. I've been single for over a year now. Although i can only think that relationships tend to be more trouble than their worth. I'm living with two couples at the moment, and both seem to illustrate the two extreams of relationships. One is really inclusive and settled, the other quite free and unrestrictive. Personally, I hate to watch the couples that become symbiotic, so involved in themselves that you never see one without the other. For some reasons these couples always seem to be asking each other if they are okay and going to be early because they are 'tired'. With these couples the togetherness doesn't seem to stem from any kind of mutual love but from a desperate need for mutual support. They're the type who go out get drunk and end up exploding publically at each other in an embarrasing fashion, then go to sleep and pretend that everything is okay the next day. In the end they stop communicating and just live round each other. You can see an example of this when they go out together and don't talk to each other. I hate to see people hurting themselves in that way, just wasting their lives digging their own graves.

When i was writing the word 'exploding' i actually wrote 'sexploading' by mistake. If that's not a freudian slip i don't know what is.

Shit its daylight saving tonight. I have another hour of boredom. If i was out i'd have another hour of drinking. Bugger.

Its halloween next week, my favorite holiday of the year, most probably because of the goth in me. It gives me a legitimate excuse to wear make up and dress in black without looking like a melodramatic prat. I think i'm going to go as a vampire one night and Alex from clockwork orange another. I'm hoping steve will get a kilt in Edinbouough so he can go as a Scotsman, and that i can convince the other steve to wear a hollowed out pumpkin on his head. I'm looking forward to it.

posted by Robert  # 1:11 am

Saturday, October 25, 2003

The morning after

Wow i've woken up with a surprisingly friendly hangover. However, it is three o'clock.

Steve attempted to ride down the stairs on the fold out bed last night. He decided to go head first. I gave him a push and steve went sliding...only the bed thing didn't move. Down went steve over the steep stairs to collapse in a heap on the floor. He didn't move for a while, so once i'd stopped laughing i went to see how he was, following him down the stairs in a similar manner. After landing on him i asked him how he was. He looked at me with a face that bared a six inch carpet burn.

He has to see his parents and family tonight, and he still has the scars of when i slammed his head into the pavement and had to go to a and e. I feel kinda guilty.
posted by Robert  # 2:18 pm
A Portrait

I got told i looked like joe strummer tonight. But with less hair. Which is strange because i've also been told that i look like:

Brian Molko
Fran Healey
Billy Corgan
and Gareth Gates.

People really are stupid.
posted by Robert  # 4:03 am
Friday nights at the star.

You will wish you hadn't drank so much last night. You will wish you had spent your money on better things. Clothes, albums, faberge eggs, train tickets. But you didn't. You drank it all.And tomorrow you will regret it. So you will drink some more, in the vague hope that you will have a good time. But you had a good time tonight. You just can't remember it.
posted by Robert  # 3:44 am
Its far too late.

Dear God. I hope i haven't hurt his face agan. He has to to see hs family soon. We only tried to slide down the stairs on the futon thing. Went to the star it was only me and steve left at the end of the night why did everyone leave us? What about stanima? Come on have some fun. The star isn't the best place to go but make the most of it. Don't let the highlight of the night be the kebab.

Drank far too much, but steve has to be up in two or three hours to catch a train, so i'm not in the worst position.

Anyway back to the water.
posted by Robert  # 3:30 am

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Work and stuff

I've just finished writing an Essay comparing Engels' condition of the working class in England with Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist. I researched it on monday and wrote it on Tuesday. It was one of the fastest times that I've ever wrote 1700 words in. Two days. I have the rest of the week pretty much free.

The only problem is that the essay is shit. I had so many good ideas (mostly plagerised), so many good intentions, but somewhere in the transition from brain to paper something went awry. I read the essay over and it just screams ignorance at me. I make obvious points over and over again, repeat myself, go into little depth and seem to be happy to conclude that apparently, Dickens and Engels had a few things in common, and London sounds like a bit of a dive. Oh, and the working class don't get on with the middle class, or something. It gets a bit vague there.

The thing is now I've reached the word limit i can't be arsed to change it. And this is the same story with all my essays. Which leads me up to the question thats been bugging me; Am i actually intelligent? Despite the physical evidence of my many mediocre essays i still seem to believe that i could get a first, if i wanted too and if i wasn't so lazy. But could I? Is it actually in my ability, or are my mediocre essays the celing of my skills? Or is it just the fact that i want to get my work done so i can go out and have some fun at the weekend the problem? Or do i now have to let go of my childish notions that i've actually got a talent for this subject? I suppose there is no easy answer in a subject as subjective as English. Who gives a damn anyway, in five years i'll probably be nowhere near a book, and in two days i'll be drunk.
posted by Robert  # 1:51 am

Monday, October 20, 2003

Here is a link to Robert Hampton's website, full of chocolaty goodness: Suck it and see!
posted by Robert  # 11:43 pm

I'd just like to say hello to Emma if she is reading this, and that i hope things are going okay despite the fact she's in France.

If it helps, an apple is called 'un pomme', a car is 'une voiture' and a taxi is 'un taxi'. Feel free to e mail me if you need any more tips. Salu!
posted by Robert  # 11:39 pm
Things that have annoyed me today:

Waking up at 1pm

Having half the contents of a vacum packed milk container squirt over me when i tried to open it. Opening another container five seconds later and the same thing happen again.

Running up a twelve pound debt in library fines. Having to pay a two pound fine for a book i got out that, not only had i already read, but also had a copy of.

Every single english student appearing to be in the library at the same time. Working, too.

Attemting to clean two grease stains off two t-shirts, not reading the instructions on the stain remover and increasing the stain's size by 200%

The fact that i have no time to prepare for my seminars tomorrow and so i will have to pretend that i know what A pourtrait of the artist as a young man is about. Either that or keep deathly silent, hide in my coat and hope i don't get asked any questions.
posted by Robert  # 4:56 pm

Sunday, October 19, 2003

The Wendy house

I've just came back from a goth night at my uni. It was alright, although i think that it's slightly anti-social to go out to a club, drink so much that you lose all of your inhibitions and then forget what happened. Not that this is my story, not tonight. Im still sober. Relatively.

Well, that is relative to my flatmate steve, who has just spilt a a pint of beer over himself and went to bed. Or at least went upstairs.

Your inhibitions are there for a reason. No, you can't dance, no she isn't attractive, no it just isn't a good idea. Inhibitions stop you from being other people's entertainment. There is a fine line that shouldn't be crossed.

But then why not? Why not drink so much that you don't care? You're a fool for a night, but at least you have a good time. And after all, isn't that why you went out?
posted by Robert  # 2:54 am

Saturday, October 18, 2003


Christ, I've just saved myself about twenty quid in cd's in the last ten minutes and discovered a hell a lot of covers that i've never heard before (weezer doing please please please let me get what i want?) all because of broadband. I'm begining to forgive that gap toothed yokel that installed the modem in the wrong room.
posted by Robert  # 2:57 am
Quick thought

Do people who save for a rainy day in Arizona become the richest people in the world?
posted by Robert  # 2:44 am
The neverending story

Okay, writing this blog when i come back drunk from a club isn't the best idea but i have to sober up for tomorrow or else i couldn't go out again.

I now have broadband. Thats the good news. The bad news is that i have ntl. Due to te ineptitude of the spanner monkey they sent round my house looks like it's been attacked by the borg, what with the random wires and gaffer tape and everything. But hey, at least it works, and i no longer have to buy any media of any kind.

Tonight was my post-essay celebration, and I listened to some very good indie music.

Thats about it. Goodnight!
posted by Robert  # 2:07 am


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